Welcome to the Holy Cow's Official Spot on theWorld Wide Web!
 
Welcome to the Holy Cow's official spot on the World Wide Web! The Holy Cow is a deity which we worship and who we believe possessesan inherent holiness. Although the Cow is everywhere, it manifests itselfespecially near earthly cows. The area near earthly cows is known to beinhabited at least twice as much as in other places, and is identifiedas being "Loud." The area is especially Loud when the cow's are mooing. The Holy Cow was the first deity to exist in the Cosmic Void. It isresponsible for the maintaining of the Holy Text and the Holy Moo. It alsostomps upon the Unholy under the ground of Algeria. Even though it cannot extract as much power from them as Willy Scott,The Cow is also capable of playing the Holy Bagpipes of Willy Scott. However,it's true power comes from it's capacity to emit the Sound of the HolyMoo. The Cow must be worshipped by carrying out a Mooing Ceremony. Eitheralone or in groups, one must stand uttering "Moo" repeatedly. In orderto gain maximum favor, the Moo must be spoken at least 473 times. The rationalefor this particular number is somewhat complicated, and shall not be delvedinto here. If in groups, you may want to encouraged your fellow Cow Worshippersby saying, "You've got this," or alternatively "Eet ees loud!" with increasingvolume/frequency as the person in question gets this more and more, oris louder. Of course, the Cow's relative loudness is increased during thisceremony. The Cow may also be worshipped by owning a dairy farm. If one consumes beef products, of course, one risks an eternity undergroundin Algeria. Therefore, this is something to be avoided. If one consumesbeef products intentionally, one has to perform the Mooing Ceremony 322times extra per day for three weeks in order to regain favor with the HolyCow and to erase the misdeed. And you really have to mean it. Ifyou consume beef products accidentally then only 32 times is necessary,and you can be only somewhat sincere. The Holy Cow wishes to have it's Holy Word spread throughout the universeas much as possible. Therefore, it has created the "MooMovement". Anyone with a web page may become a part of the Moo Movement.One only needs to copy some HTML onto their own web page. This will placean image on the page with a link back to the page of the Cow, the Fish,the Elephant and Willy Scott. The necessary HTML code, along with furtherexplanation, is located here. The Holy Cow is responsible for the giving of the "MooAward," which is given to certain web sites which live up to high standardsof the Holy Cow. They are allowed to place the "Moo Award" graphic up andare also given a link from our page. Click here for more information, andto find out if your own site qualifies. About the above images One may notice that two seemingly different Cows are featured in the aboveimages. We can assure you that they are very much the same Holy Cow. Theyare merely parts of a whole; though seemingly in opposition, they are infact complimentary. The white represents peacefulness and introspection,whereas the brown is representative of loudness and brashness. Though appearingto be two, they are one.The images, like everything else on the site, are owned by the Cow,the Fish, the Elephant and Willy Scott. However, provided that proper creditis given to the Cow, the Fish, the Elephant, and Willy Scott you may usethese images in non-commercial web pages.
| Home
-The main page for this site.The Holy Cow
-Information about the Holy Cow. The Moo Award
-About the Moo Award: what is it, who are the winners, and how canyou apply for it. The M.O.O. Movement
-The M.O.O. Movement: what is it, and how you can join. Contact: cowfish@cowfish.8m.com
-Contact us with comments, questions, suggestions, or whatever. |
